We all love a cumming out story, right? Sami tells us all about her journey as Betches Co-Founder.
Sami Sage started Betches as an anonymous blog with Aleen Dreksler and Jordana Abraham. While in college, they observed and satirized the culture surrounding them. They felt “bro” culture needed a feminine counterpart, so they started to write about the Betches Lifestyle. They never thought a business would come out of it because they felt their experiences would only be relatable to their peers. However, the blog quickly went viral and landed a book deal later that year.
As anonymous content creators, there’s always that question: At some point, am I going to cum out as the author of this content? When you create branded content, whether it was my dorky blog about love affairs from high school or Remy’s Stoner Girl Problems, you’re terrified of being off-brand. Maybe you’re too big, too small, or just different from your audience’s expectations. It’s scary because it triggers deeper feelings. You might be disappointing your audience by being your authentic self, a fear that has existed since the dawn of time. It’s related to impostor syndrome and feeling like you aren’t as good/cool/sexy/fun/interesting as your anonymous content. This is why, like many people creating content under a pseudonym, Sami never thought she would come out as a blog writer for Betches.
I guess there’s an age when you realize the prejudice and conditioning you grew up with doesn’t fit you anymore, and you (hopefully) start to transform into who you are. When you decide to stop pretending you fit into that box because it’s so much more gratifying to risk authenticity, regardless of the consequences (of course, it depends on the intersections of oppression you’re facing with being yourself - we ain’t gonna fall into toxic positivity just like that -). As a non-binary, pansexual writer, there are a plethora of things I’ve found out about me that have nothing to do with how I was raised. Opening up about those things, whether antiracist or in love with some TV characters, is scary.
For Sami, this was a fun, emotional, and easy-going cumming out story. A New York Times writer wanted to interview and expose Betches, their crazy growth, their book deal, and amazing authors. Would any of us say no to that offer? Of course, there was a miserable hater who wasn't pleased with Sami being the awesome Business Betch she is, because the internet is a horrible place. Regardless, they decided to monetize this college hobby into a profitable business that now owns eleven brands!
I feel that as women we tend to focus on the limitations we face daily, and we forget there are different approaches to business and they are all valid. I don't want to fall into Girl Boss Culture, because I don't mean to say focus on the positive, ✨ manifest, and thrive, queen!👑✨ What is true, however, is that in the misogynistic society we grew up in, we learned that other women were our competition, and learning the power and impact a group of women can create by collaborating in whatever field they work in is important for our collective deconstruction. Together we are so much stronger. At How Cum, we love and admire Sami for her work and we love hearing more about her experience navigating the online world as a business owner for more than 10 years. Check out this week’s episode to hear all about it!
Written by Roxana González (she/her/they/them), a fellow cumpanion all the way from Mexico City. She has a BA in hotel management, she’s a cat lover, intersectional feminist, and writer.